I want to have your abortion
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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