my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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