I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
