That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize