I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
