on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
