My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
