did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
