Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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