Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
