i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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