I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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