what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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