I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
