K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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