he thought i was a dude.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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