i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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