Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
