So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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