Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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