This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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