I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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