I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
