weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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