Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.