OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
