David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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