how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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