Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize