i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
