That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
