so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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