shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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