Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
