If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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