i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize