I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
