Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
