I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor