today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
