I puked a lego.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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