Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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