I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
