Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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