just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
