My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fuck appropriateness.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
