so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
