As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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