I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
