you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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