Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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