i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
