i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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