You're so nebulous sometimes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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