Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
