It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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