Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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