I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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