I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
