Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
