the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize