i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
