I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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